Half Love

Half Love

Read Time: 4 Minutes

Yes! I like her and have feelings. But I never thought of saying that because my commitments stand above hers. I wanted her as a life partner, but I feared what if I could not treat her well. Our likes matched, but not our plans. She wanted to settle abroad with a nuclear family, and I won’t leave India, mainly my joint family. I tried to convey the same many times, and whenever I started to say it, either I stammered or she’d deviate from the topic and I’d lose my chance. However, today it’s time to take final judgment.

I was having lunch in the office cafeteria; she walked towards me and asked. “Can we go to any restaurant tonight for dinner?” Without a second delay, I said, “Okay.” I was literally waiting for the time to knock at 7pm so that I could leave the office and reach the restaurant. Exactly at 6:57pm, my mobile screen popped-up. I received a message; she shared the location. I was dreaming how’d this dinner be so romantic? Unfortunately, due to heavy rain,  it was 7:40pm by the time I reached the venue, and she was waiting at the table. I took silent steps, she turned back, looked and gave a smile. I gently went and took my seat. Apologized for the delay. She smiled again, and both of us were silent. Multiple thoughts are running in my mind. I turned as an introvert and was expecting her to start a conversation; the highlight was she was thinking the same too. 8 minutes passed by looking at each other’s faces and smiling. 

Finally, the waiter was the one who broke the silence by requesting an order. I took the menu and gave it to her; she opened it and asked, “Nithin! What would you like to eat?” I felt mousy and gleeful at the same time. With no further delay, I looked into a few pages and ordered the dish. It arrived, not only the dish. But also in her talks, we got into sharing delicious decisions. Starting from our office days, how we met and funny moments we had. All the events where we laughed together, secret santa, new year events and more. I kept listening as she sounded so melodious. 

Leisurely she shared her future plans, life abroad, and kids. The struggles she faced since childhood made her think in that way. Now, she wants to fly and enjoy the world. I shared my opinion on why India and to stay with a joint family. After an hour, our boats started moving in opposite directions. I understood I may not treat her as she wanted to be; it’s not the correct choice, and concluded humming. She understood my expressions and kept silent. Still, both loved each other but couldn’t confess directly. I called the waiter for the bill. Meanwhile, she stared and started to recall the time we spent, but I was calculating the meal bill in my mind. 

Yes, women think emotionally, whereas men think experimentally. Both are important factors to a successful relationship. Unfortunately, here it couldn’t. I cleared the bill and we stepped out; the rain was still heavy as our hearts were too. “Will you catch a metro?” She asked. I didn’t reply and just looked into her eyes. She held my hand and walked a few steps; both of us were louder inside, pebbling outside. Drops dropping down from us felt like we had much to speak. Eventually, it was time for rain to leave the clouds. Silver linings weren’t seen in darkness. She booked a cab, and it arrived. She got in, and the ride started. She turned back and looked at me. My eyes were staring and expecting the same. Last sight. Both were drenched in sorrow. A story in which destiny didn’t fix our destination… half written.

Love doesn’t always conquer. This is a story where our hearts couldn’t align. 

Have you ever let go of your love, for a dream?

- Nithin Kasuba